And then, M. Jane was heart broken, torn and shredded... more than she'd ever been (not by a boyfriend but, what is equally sadder and sillier, by a guy who'd run her world for over ten years).
Then the days were gray, and windy as... The good thing about heavy storms is that they don't often last for very long. Well, this one didn't.
Two days in a row, M. Jane went wild: drinks, cigarettes, laughs and talks in English, Spanish... Interactions with boring people at the Opera Bar, a realization of the people around, of the breathing of the stranger sitting next to her on the bus. Recovering the old M. Jane, the one who'd fall in love with strangers on a train, who would dream for nights on end with someone she never shared more than a 10 minute ride on a really crowded bus... Realising that so much time had been wasted and that getting rid of the clutter in the attic was dialectically harder and way easier than it'd seemed.
Saturday was the day M. Jane was gonna end part of the "madness" she'd thrown herself into. How so? A mask party at a pub to go absolutely wasted and high on stuff, kiss one or two cute guys and find a better use to her tongue than the past year had provided her with. After that, back to healthy (but aware) mode...
First stop: bottle shop. Wine (or or two, one or two, one or two bottles?), one... so they could just get slightly drunk before getting to fancy (that is, expensive) pub. In the shop, heading for the cheap everyday wine "Excuse me, we've got wine tasting... would you like to try it?" "Yeah... why not?", she thinks... tries them... fancy expensive wine, but really juicy (not just as juicy as the guy serving it, but anyway...) "Well, I'll take one." A minute later... "Oh, well, sorry... we're sold out...". M. Jane thinks Whatever, will save some money... just take the cheap one... Heads to the counter, ready to pay for the one bottle of the cheap one, juicy guy comes with 3/4 full bottle "Wanna take it?" She walks out... two bottles, paid for the cheap one. Ends the night thinking why she didn't try to score that guy, but reckoned at the time night was not even beginning...
Second stop: ridiculously packed pub. M. Jane can't dance, can't talk... Best spot turns out to be the smoking area, where the girls get a chance to breathe some fresh air, meet and chat with funny people, have some drinks, couple of ciggs, a shot... The mask that she puts on and in a way takes off the one worn every day to work... to get through the days.
Night goes on, Turkish guy approaches "Is he wearing the 'I'm the ugly guy mask?'" her friend asks... they laugh... M. Jane tells the guy never ever to trust people from her country, he laughs, gets her phone number... M. Jane dances like she used to every once in a while ages ago, as if there was no tomorrow, he joins her "Stop! Stop!" she keeps saying, but doesn't try hard enough to get rid of him... Actually she appreciates the attention, the touch, the bodies closer and closer... they kiss.
There are no fireworks, there's nothing magic about it, "He doesn't burn her like the sun" or maybe he does... just as anyone else who's gotten that close would. They kiss again, and again, the warmth of the bodies, the breathing, the hands, tongues... the kiss.
Third stop: cab. Both of them, she tells him they're each going to their house (they happen to live in the same neighbourhood), he says "Whatever..." She takes care of him, fastens his seat belt, makes a point at not wanting him to die that night (everything is so honest, and yet so "I'm not sleeping with you"), he's so caring, so respectful (TOO respectful), his hands do not attempt to go anywhere rather than her neck, her face, her hair... She is naughty, hints at things she wanna teach him, he doesn't get it. They get to his place, he tries to take her out of the car... she says "No, Stop" but this time she means it... He gets it, gets mad and storms out of the car.
Fourth stop: same cab. Taxi driver cracks up!!! Can't believe M. Jane's disappointed the friend, "Poor dude... thought he was gonna score a hot chick" is his easy line on a just as easy girl. She laughs... blames his storming out on the "you know what men are like..." Driver asks about what women are like, she blushes... thinks taxi driver actually has more sense of humor than the Turkish dude, blushes even more at her thoughts... Laughs!!
Fifth stop: a closed "used books" shop in her hometown, an online chat about repressed desires, about bodies touching, kissing, licking, penetrating each other in ways that distance both prevents and nurtures... M. Jane substitutes her usual porn videos per the artsy, book lover. Ties, blow jobs, the closed shop and the naked masked body.
Sixth and final stop: a junior high school love... one that's not worthy a line, but with whom she was once before madly in love. One with whom she can laugh and hint at wine, films, blankets, company, sex and almost see him blush...
Three with whom she can laugh... And counting...
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